Stand Up Roller Coasters

I am watching a programme about the ultimate ten thrill rides and the people are talking about how on a “stand-up” roller coaster… you stand up! As the human body is used to being in a seated position when travelling then its huge thrill to be stood up – erm I get no thrill from escalators or travellators – or walking!

Anyone who has ever been on a “stand-up” roller coasters will know just as well as I do that you do not stand up on a stand up roller coaster! There is a saddle and a massive chuffing harness.

Things like this piss me off! It’s crap! It’s not right! So why do they get away with saying these things! Imagine you’ve never been on one and you watch this programme. You find out that a roller coaster called “The Riddler’s Revenge” is the biggest stand-up roller coaster in the world and it’s somewhere in the US. You decide it would be your dream to go on it so you save and save and save until one day you have enough money to fly off to the US of A, pay your money to get in to the park and head for the ride! You queue for four years and laugh at the signs tell you you’re 15 minutes from your ride. After clearing up your camping equipment at the last turn you’re finally at the ride and as you get on to your horror you see the one thing you weren’t expecting – a seat!

How angry would you be? I’d be demanding my money back! Actually I’d be spouting off about demanding my money but walk round the rest off the park, queuing for more rides that are going to either leave me with back ache or soaked clothing because I thought I could dodge the tsunami from the log flume and never actually collecting my dosh or telling a manager that it was in fact crap! Β Essentially I’ve just done the same as every one else – bent over!

Thankfully I have always found that it isn’t the rides that make days at these place fun, it’s the people you go with.

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Bear. Heart of lion, pecs like dinner plates, mind of whore.