Twelve Reasons Why I Love Her

A few years ago, more than I can be bothered to count, I decided I’d had quite an interesting life and would write my autobiography. I wrote quite a few chapters and kept going back and editing them and padding them out a bit. I took out some stories, added a few others and came up with a kick-ass title! It was so awesome I can’t even remember what it was! I decided I wanted a gimmick. I wanted something that made it different. After much doodling I decided each chapter would be a letter to someone I knew. Friend or enemy. Dawn French went and stole that idea but thankfully I’d given up on it well before then.

My next idea was to take a song title and relate it to the chapter. I’ve often found it easier to describe how I feel by picking a song so this seemed quite apt. The problem arose when I ended up with about nine different songs per chapter. Deciding one night to give up on the whole thing, all because I couldn’t find a title, such a drama queen, I threw down the keyboard, stropped into the lounge and hit play on the five-disc multi-changer compact disc player I had. It was the size of a Mini Cooper, cost a small fortune and only actually changed CD’s when it felt like, not when you wanted it to. It was all the rage in the 90’s. Or so I like to tell myself! Within a few seconds (probably more like five minutes) it started playing the first track it found. Twelve Reasons Why I Love Her by My Life Story. I loved it. And I don’t know why! That’s when I decided that ‘My Life Story’ would be the name of my autobiography. It took about sixteen seconds of thinking it was the awesomest of awesome titles before I realised it was actually quite shit. A lot shit rather. So then I thought ‘Okay, I’ll call it Twelve Reasons Why I Love Her!’ Brilliant! If I remember rightly I said brilliant out loud as if congratulating myself on yet another shit idea! I couldn’t work out who the ‘her’ was in my title so decided to drop it and just call it ‘Twelve Reasons Why’ and be done it with. It also gave me the gimmick I was after. Each chapter will be a reason why my life is the way it is. For example “Chapter One: Why I live in Ireland” – this doesn’t mean the chapter will be about the move but it will about where I’ve lived and mention some of the things I’ve done there and the people I’ve met, all leading up to me living in Ireland! Get it? No? Oh well, I’ll live.

This of course means that there will only ever be twelve chapters so I might add a few appendices or whatever I decide to call them.

I’m still writing and editing it. Things have changed a lot since I first started it but the idea remains the same.

Here’s a youtube of the song. The video is as camp as Christmas and even though the lead singers voice is, lets say unique, I still love the song.

 

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Bear. Heart of lion, pecs like dinner plates, mind of whore.