So, I’ve decided to shut down one of my other sites. The site Rather Weighty This was great when I started it and I used it when I need to but it was set up for the wrong reasons.
I wanted to separate my weight loss journey from my every day blogging/writing. I was wrong to do that. My weight loss is part of me, it’s who I am and who I want to be but I treated it like it was something different. Almost like it was someone else. And why did I do that? Well, the answer is sad yet easy.
By putting those posts somewhere I can deny the truth and doing that is dangerous. I’m fat. I’m working on it. I’ve done some hard thinking over the last twelve months and no, this isn’ t me starting again, this is me accepting that my fight to be smaller isn’t going to be the instant success I want it to be. Strangely enough making the decision to shut the site down has been strangely relaxing.
I have body image issues, as an early post suggests, and getting over them is a massive struggle. Putting that struggle on to someone else, another persona, a different online identity is just pushing it away and not dealing with it.
Now I am dealing with it.
Now things feel different. I’ve had plenty of “I’m starting again” moments but none of them have felt like this.
If anything can prove to me that I’m on the right track it’s what happened last weekend.
Myself and Brad went to the UK for family events (birthday, another birthday and yet another birthday). This would involve two meals out and family party with a buffet. I was determined to go to them, enjoy them and still be down at my next Weight Watchers meeting.
So I put my mind to it, I planned, I tracked and I was careful. I was successful! I went to my class and was down. I have never been away for a weekend and come back with weight off. How did I do it? Planning and tracking.
All this tells me I’m in a new headspace.
My goal now is to be three stone down by the end of the year. I think this is doable and I’m supremely confident I’ll do it.
So, now I’m embracing me as I am and starting to like what I am it’s time to get rid of Rather Weighty This.
All the posts from there have been imported to here and tagged with the Rather Weighty This category tag and the titles change to show they’re imports. In the menu at the top of the page I’ve added a button that will only show those entries. Everything about my weight loss will now be on here.
Weigh in is on Tuesday and I’ve a worry I might be up this week but if so it’ll only be by a 1lb and I can get rid of that by the next meeting.