Tag Archives: Top Ten

My Film Top Ten of 2018

My cinema visits for 2018 were very much down on last year. Something I will rectify for 2019. That being said, here is my top ten for 2018. As usual, you can disagree, it’s your right, but this is my list and my opinion. If a film isn’t listed it’s possible I didn’t see it yet. Of course, it could also be that it’s shit and didn’t make the top ten.

Before I start with the top ten here’s a special mention for three films. Pacific Rim: Uprising, Tomb Raider and A Wrinkle in Time. These three don’t make the top ten. In fact these three are bottom of the list, with Ocean’s 8 and Ready Player One not far in front of them. Pacific Rim (the first one) was an awful awful film. It should never have had a sequel made. Tomb Raider didn’t need a remake and if it was going to be done it needed to be done better. Wrinkle in Time was a nice idea but still very meh.

Bandersnatch nearly made the top ten but it just wasn’t everything I’d hoped. Bird Box was nowhere near because it was rubbish – and so was Sandra Bullock. The Meg got higher than Bird Box and that was truly awful. Ready Player One got higher too!

So with the crap out the way here is my top ten movies of 2018.

The park is gone.

10. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

When the island’s dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event.

Honestly, I’m amazed this made the top ten. Rafe Spall, an actor I would usually rate quite highly was awful. Chris Pratt was Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard was Richie Cunningham. The story was the same old shit in every other Jurassic Park film. The direction wasn’t great. BUT, the one thing that gets this into the top ten was the effects. The volcano exploding was brilliant even if it was erroneous, the dinosaurs were great and the location scenery was fantastic.

My score: 6/10

 

Never tell him the odds.

9. Solo: A Star Wars Story
During an adventure into the criminal underworld, Han Solo meets his future co-pilot Chewbacca and encounters Lando Calrissian years before joining the Rebellion.

I’m always going to a love a Star Wars film but I’m also always going to be honest.

Alden Ehrenreich and Donald Glover were shit. Ehrenreich is a great actor but was awful as Solo. I’ve yet to see Glover do anything well. The film itself was a nice intro to Han Solo and it’d be nice to see one done about Leia. I imagine her life, growing up a princess, would be far more interesting that Luke who, as much as I love him, was essentially just a farm-boy who spent his life moaning about things he didn’t do but could have done if he’d have got off his ass. Yes yes, he went on to do great things but as a child I’d have put him up for adoption! Again. I did enjoy this film though, well, as much I as I could.

My score: 6/10

It’s been too long, dahlings

8. Incredibles 2

The Incredibles hero family takes on a new mission, which involves a change in family roles: Bob Parr (Mr Incredible) must manage the house while his wife Helen (Elastigirl) goes out to save the world.

I’m not ashamed to say I very much enjoyed this. It wasn’t a patch on the first but it was still very enjoyable. Edna Mode is my patronas!

My score: 7/10

 

 

 

Destiny arrives

7. Avengers: Infinity War

The Avengers and their allies must be willing to sacrifice all in an attempt to defeat the powerful Thanos before his blitz of devastation and ruin puts an end to the universe.

This could have been higher but it was let down a lot by the amount of CGI. And before anyone moans do this: Watch the film again and pick out each scene with CGI and ask yourself “Could that be done without CGI?” The answer for most of them is a yes. The second problem with this film was, as with any Marvel films, too much Iron Man. Where Wolverine is the be all and end all of the X-Men (or so it appeared), Iron Man seems to be the main character in any Avengers movie. And I hate Iron Man.

My score: 7/10

Embrace your inner anti-hero.

6. Venom

When Eddie Brock acquires the powers of a symbiote, he will have to release his alter-ego “Venom” to save his life.

I remember seeing this get slated when the trailers came out and do you know what, they were half right. It wasn’t a great film but I still enjoyed it. I was a tad pissed off with how Eddie Brock (Tom “my future husband” Hardy) can go from being this brave investigative journalist to an ass-whipped shy character. When losing his job he became a completely different person and I just didn’t buy it. Thankfully he was still just as hot.

My score: 7/10

 

Real heroes. Not actual size.

5. Ant-Man and The Wasp

As Scott Lang balances being both a Super Hero and a father, Hope van Dyne and Dr. Hank Pym present an urgent new mission that finds the Ant-Man fighting alongside The Wasp to uncover secrets from their past.

The first time I remember seeing Evangeline Lilly was in Lost and she wasn’t exactly great. She hasn’t improved much but maybe just enough to make this pairing with Paul Rudd enjoyable. It was a good sequel and a nice tie in with the Marvel Universe. I enjoyed some of the effects and the build-up of the story line. I look forward to seeing them in the Avengers instalment.

My score: 7/10

 

Some missions are not a choice

4. Mission Impossible –Fallout

Ethan Hunt and his IMF team, along with some familiar allies, race against time after a mission gone wrong.

Cruise is of an age where I struggle to see him as the action hero yet in this he was all that and more. The fact that he does all his own stunts still amazes me. He gets slated and belittled by so many yet there is he is making blockbuster movies constantly. I loved all the connections with the other movies and utterly enjoyed this movie. Apparently Tom said if this film did well he’d do more. I’m looking forward to those.

My score: 8/10

 

You think you know him? Well … think again!

3. Peter Rabbit

Feature adaptation of Beatrix Potter’s classic tale of a rebellious rabbit trying to sneak into a farmer’s vegetable garden.

Firstly let’s ignore the fact that I can’t stand James Corden. He’s awful. He’s not a good actor, presenter or writer. Thankfully he’s not the reason I like this film. It’s Rose Byrne, Domhnall Gleeson, the writing and the animation. Domhnall Gleeson is an amazing actor and really takes on each part he plays to its fullest. The story was really well done and the animation was out of this world.

My score: 8/10

 

 

Be the first to see the second coming.

2. Deadpool 2

Foul-mouthed mutant mercenary Wade Wilson (AKA. Deadpool), brings together a team of fellow mutant rogues to protect a young boy with supernatural abilities from the brutal, time-traveling cyborg, Cable.

A film that can do what the first and second Deadpool films did and still become a huge success is a testament to the brilliant writing and acting. Breaking the fourth wall so much but still making the film work is done so well. I sometimes struggle to switch off and become critical of continuity and any failures but I got totally engrossed in to this one, as with the first. I managed to switch off and enjoy the entertainment.

My score: 8/10

All Hail the King.

1. Black Panther

T’Challa, heir to the hidden but advanced kingdom of Wakanda, must step forward to lead his people into a new future and must confront a challenger from his country’s past.

As a stand-alone film or as part of the Marvel universe, this was by far my favourite movie of 2018. I remember walking in very reluctant to like it for some unknown reason – I probably heard Iron Man was in it – but I was taken aback by the graphics, the story, the acting. Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong’o, Daniel Kaluuya, Winston Duke, Angela Bassett and Andy Serkis all play incredible roles. Freeman and Whitaker not so much but they’ve never been brilliant.

The choreography of and within the scenes was beautiful. We’re talking 2021 before there’s a sequel and it’s rumoured Michael B. Jordan will be back – I certainly hope so. I loved seeing the characters appear in Infinity Wars.

So this gets my number one for 2018.

My score: 9/10

Films I’m looking forward to in 2019 are:

– Captain Marvel
– Us
– Pet Sematary (I’m not usually a fan of reboots but I like Jason Clarke so I’m excited for this)
– Hellboy (Anything has to be better than Perlman!)
– Avengers: Endgame
– Dark Phoenix
– Toy Story 4
– Spider-Man: Far From Home
– Angel Has Fallen (Will be crap but escapmsim.)
– Kingsman: The Great Game (Taron. My furture ex-husband)
– Star Wars: Episode IX (Obviously!)

Films I’m not looking forward.

– Glass (When will people learn that M. Night Shyamalan is awful?)
– Jacob’s Ladder (This does not need a reboot!)
– The Hustle (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels does not need a reboot!)
– Child’s Play (yet another reboot!)
– The Lion King (More live action shit.)
– Aladdin (Fuck right off!)
– It: Chapter Two (Chapter one was bollocks. Chapter Two can’t be any better)
– Joker (no)
– Terminator 6 (this should have ended at 2)
– Charlie’s Angels (Yawwwwn)
– Jumanji 3 (Dwayne Johnson should not get acting work!)
– Super Intelligence (Melissa McCarthy. James Corden. Hell.)

Happy New Year!

My top ten best films of 2017

Lets be honest here twenty-seventeen hasn’t been a great year for movies. I’m quite sure many will disagree. Good for you. If I was to compile a top ten of the last ten years then it’s doubtful one would include any of these. Harsh? Maybe. Opinionated? Totally. But isn’t that the point. If a film isn’t in this list there are only two reasons. Either it wasn’t good enough – the most common reason, or I didn’t see it. I’m not going to review something I haven’t seen! Reviewers don’t do that surely?

Anyway, here’s my top ten of 2017. You may be shocked by what took the number one spot but read why before shooting me down. Not one movie gets a ten out of ten.

10. Kingsman: The Golden Circle (6/10)

 This film is essentially rubbish. As sequels go it is inoffensive but as movies go it attacks every all the senses. So what has it done that it warrants a place on the top ten?

Well there are four reasons to watch this.

  1. You get to see five oscar winners at their lowest point.
  2. Taron Egerton isn’t bad to look at.
  3. The humour is nicely done and gives a good giggle.
  4. Elton John is hysterical. He makes this film. He makes it worth watching and HE is the reason it makes the top ten.

9. Wonder Woman (6/10)

The action is good, the CGI is meh, the story is okay-ish. What makes this film is Gal Gadot. Her performance as Diana Prince is brilliant. This movie was destined to face criticism from die hard Wonder Woman fans, just like every comic book based movie ever, but Gadot deserves recognition for owning Wonder Woman. She certainly knocked Lynda Carter off my number one spot.

8. Guardians of the Galaxy `Vol. 2.

Although this could easily be deemed as “how not to do a sequel” it actually works quite well. All the characters interact well and Chris Pratt seems to happily share the limelight with his fellow stars. The cinematography is amazing and just the first this colourful movie delivers a nice level of humour. The story is pish though.

7. Spider-Man: Homecoming (7/10)

This movie could have easily made it higher but one thing let it down. Iron Man. Stop putting Iron Man in every bloody Marvel film! Yes, he’s an integral part of the Avengers films but so are many of the other characters! Thankfully Tom Holland managed to ensure this was a success. A few fans moaned at the lack of an exploration of his other powers but in my mind it’s just that he hasn’t found them yet and gives them something for the sequel.

6. Star Wars: The Last Jedi (7/10)

For the sake of full disclosure I’m a massive Star Wars fan. This is, by far, the worst Star Wars film of the lot. It’s lucky to get a seven out of ten. Most of the cast do a great job. Most. Sadly the writing lets them down. This would have been better titled “Star Wars: Carry on Luke!” as the childish humour throughout ruined what could have been an amazing film with the chance to really show how Luke had become a great teacher like those Jedi before him. I felt very let down.

5. T2 Trainspotting (8/10)

It would be wrong to say Danny Boyle can do no wrong, especially when you look at the opening ceremony of the London Olympics or Vacuuming Completely Nude in Paradise but, when he does it right he really does it right. T2 Trainspotting is great. While the first one put it’s fingers deep into your brain and roots around making you feel uncomfortable, this sequel does the same to your soul. Everyone, regardless of their past experiences, can relate to the moving on through ones life and the reconnection with ones youth. The four main actors took on the roles as though they’d being playing them every day since the first one. This was them and Boyle at their best.

4. I Called Him Morgan (8/10)

This documentary into the death of Lee Morgan is a must see. There’s no acting as it’s all done using archive footage of Lee himself, his partner Helen and the other people in his life. You don’t need to be a fan of jazz to enjoy this film. Be warned, this is not a story of his life but a look at the events leading up to his death and it’s done very very well.

3. Get Out (8/10)

They say first impression last (I hold no truck with that statement) so introducing yourself a director with this film was a stroke of genius for Jordan Peele. Daniel Kaluuya, who suffered through Johnny English Reborn and Kick Ass 2 does an amazing job in the lead role and had great writing to help him along. The casual racism in the beginning made me feel uncomfortable, as it should, and the twists and turns throughout the film kept me guessing. I pride myself on being able to work out plots in films and television shows quite quickly, a skill my partner will test to, but this kept me guessing until the very last moment. You need to watch this.

2. Split (8/10)

Lets get one thing out the way right now – M. Night Shyamalan is an awful writer. You disagree? Good for you. I’m pleased for you. I also don’t care. His writing is akin to Dan Brown – childlike. His plot twists are predicable within minutes and the stories complete dribble. I read one review of this movie that said “The plot twist, trust me, this time your mind will be blown!” – No. NO. For a start the bloody movie poster gave you a massive clue!

So why this is at number two? Why does it get an eight out of ten? One name – James McAvoy. I’ve always rated him as a good actor and this shifts him from good to utterly amazing! He is taking on so many different characters in this film and he does it so so well. With the voice work alone you could easily believe each character is played by a different actor but with the added body language changes McAvoy does incredibly work. I wanted to hate this film. I wanted to hate it because of M. Night Shyamalan. But I can’t because of McAvoy.

1. War for the Planet of the Apes (8/10)

So you’re probably wonder how this movie, this third in the series, managed to get to number one. You see the plot isn’t great. It’s more of a disagreement than a war, a skirmish if you will. It’s very much B movie material.

One of the big criticisms this movie got was that the characters were difficult to relate to. Of course they were! You’re human so in a movie you psychologically put yourself in the role of a human. Most of the humans in this weren’t very nice because, as far they were concerned, they were at war. It told you that apes are better than humans. For want of a cliche apes were more humane! You couldn’t relate because you’re telling yourself that if this happened you wouldn’t become like the majority of humans shown. Of course you wouldn’t. Now, lets start a war (again) and see if that’s true! Pish! You’d do all you could to survive. I would. They would. You would! Get over it.

So again, why is this number one. Have you watched the film? Disagree with me? Go watch it again. Nearly ALL of the footage you see if CGI. Yes, you’re essentially watching a cartoon. A cartoon that has some of the best animation I’ve ever seen. This movie is a salute to the technical advances of it’s day and the genius of those technicians that created it. Ignore the lack of plot and watch it for the masterpiece it truly is.