My Film Top Ten of 2018

My cinema visits for 2018 were very much down on last year. Something I will rectify for 2019. That being said, here is my top ten for 2018. As usual, you can disagree, it’s your right, but this is my list and my opinion. If a film isn’t listed it’s possible I didn’t see it yet. Of course, it could also be that it’s shit and didn’t make the top ten.

Before I start with the top ten here’s a special mention for three films. Pacific Rim: Uprising, Tomb Raider and A Wrinkle in Time. These three don’t make the top ten. In fact these three are bottom of the list, with Ocean’s 8 and Ready Player One not far in front of them. Pacific Rim (the first one) was an awful awful film. It should never have had a sequel made. Tomb Raider didn’t need a remake and if it was going to be done it needed to be done better. Wrinkle in Time was a nice idea but still very meh.

Bandersnatch nearly made the top ten but it just wasn’t everything I’d hoped. Bird Box was nowhere near because it was rubbish – and so was Sandra Bullock. The Meg got higher than Bird Box and that was truly awful. Ready Player One got higher too!

So with the crap out the way here is my top ten movies of 2018.

The park is gone.

10. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

When the island’s dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event.

Honestly, I’m amazed this made the top ten. Rafe Spall, an actor I would usually rate quite highly was awful. Chris Pratt was Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard was Richie Cunningham. The story was the same old shit in every other Jurassic Park film. The direction wasn’t great. BUT, the one thing that gets this into the top ten was the effects. The volcano exploding was brilliant even if it was erroneous, the dinosaurs were great and the location scenery was fantastic.

My score: 6/10


 

Never tell him the odds.

9. Solo: A Star Wars Story
During an adventure into the criminal underworld, Han Solo meets his future co-pilot Chewbacca and encounters Lando Calrissian years before joining the Rebellion.

I’m always going to a love a Star Wars film but I’m also always going to be honest.

Alden Ehrenreich and Donald Glover were shit. Ehrenreich is a great actor but was awful as Solo. I’ve yet to see Glover do anything well. The film itself was a nice intro to Han Solo and it’d be nice to see one done about Leia. I imagine her life, growing up a princess, would be far more interesting that Luke who, as much as I love him, was essentially just a farm-boy who spent his life moaning about things he didn’t do but could have done if he’d have got off his ass. Yes yes, he went on to do great things but as a child I’d have put him up for adoption! Again. I did enjoy this film though, well, as much I as I could.

My score: 6/10


It’s been too long, dahlings

8. Incredibles 2

The Incredibles hero family takes on a new mission, which involves a change in family roles: Bob Parr (Mr Incredible) must manage the house while his wife Helen (Elastigirl) goes out to save the world.

I’m not ashamed to say I very much enjoyed this. It wasn’t a patch on the first but it was still very enjoyable. Edna Mode is my patronas!

My score: 7/10

 

 

 


Destiny arrives

7. Avengers: Infinity War

The Avengers and their allies must be willing to sacrifice all in an attempt to defeat the powerful Thanos before his blitz of devastation and ruin puts an end to the universe.

This could have been higher but it was let down a lot by the amount of CGI. And before anyone moans do this: Watch the film again and pick out each scene with CGI and ask yourself “Could that be done without CGI?” The answer for most of them is a yes. The second problem with this film was, as with any Marvel films, too much Iron Man. Where Wolverine is the be all and end all of the X-Men (or so it appeared), Iron Man seems to be the main character in any Avengers movie. And I hate Iron Man.

My score: 7/10


Embrace your inner anti-hero.

6. Venom

When Eddie Brock acquires the powers of a symbiote, he will have to release his alter-ego “Venom” to save his life.

I remember seeing this get slated when the trailers came out and do you know what, they were half right. It wasn’t a great film but I still enjoyed it. I was a tad pissed off with how Eddie Brock (Tom “my future husband” Hardy) can go from being this brave investigative journalist to an ass-whipped shy character. When losing his job he became a completely different person and I just didn’t buy it. Thankfully he was still just as hot.

My score: 7/10

 


Real heroes. Not actual size.

5. Ant-Man and The Wasp

As Scott Lang balances being both a Super Hero and a father, Hope van Dyne and Dr. Hank Pym present an urgent new mission that finds the Ant-Man fighting alongside The Wasp to uncover secrets from their past.

The first time I remember seeing Evangeline Lilly was in Lost and she wasn’t exactly great. She hasn’t improved much but maybe just enough to make this pairing with Paul Rudd enjoyable. It was a good sequel and a nice tie in with the Marvel Universe. I enjoyed some of the effects and the build-up of the story line. I look forward to seeing them in the Avengers instalment.

My score: 7/10

 


Some missions are not a choice

4. Mission Impossible –Fallout

Ethan Hunt and his IMF team, along with some familiar allies, race against time after a mission gone wrong.

Cruise is of an age where I struggle to see him as the action hero yet in this he was all that and more. The fact that he does all his own stunts still amazes me. He gets slated and belittled by so many yet there is he is making blockbuster movies constantly. I loved all the connections with the other movies and utterly enjoyed this movie. Apparently Tom said if this film did well he’d do more. I’m looking forward to those.

My score: 8/10

 


You think you know him? Well … think again!

3. Peter Rabbit

Feature adaptation of Beatrix Potter’s classic tale of a rebellious rabbit trying to sneak into a farmer’s vegetable garden.

Firstly let’s ignore the fact that I can’t stand James Corden. He’s awful. He’s not a good actor, presenter or writer. Thankfully he’s not the reason I like this film. It’s Rose Byrne, Domhnall Gleeson, the writing and the animation. Domhnall Gleeson is an amazing actor and really takes on each part he plays to its fullest. The story was really well done and the animation was out of this world.

My score: 8/10

 

 


Be the first to see the second coming.

2. Deadpool 2

Foul-mouthed mutant mercenary Wade Wilson (AKA. Deadpool), brings together a team of fellow mutant rogues to protect a young boy with supernatural abilities from the brutal, time-traveling cyborg, Cable.

A film that can do what the first and second Deadpool films did and still become a huge success is a testament to the brilliant writing and acting. Breaking the fourth wall so much but still making the film work is done so well. I sometimes struggle to switch off and become critical of continuity and any failures but I got totally engrossed in to this one, as with the first. I managed to switch off and enjoy the entertainment.

My score: 8/10


All Hail the King.

1. Black Panther

T’Challa, heir to the hidden but advanced kingdom of Wakanda, must step forward to lead his people into a new future and must confront a challenger from his country’s past.

As a stand-alone film or as part of the Marvel universe, this was by far my favourite movie of 2018. I remember walking in very reluctant to like it for some unknown reason – I probably heard Iron Man was in it – but I was taken aback by the graphics, the story, the acting. Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong’o, Daniel Kaluuya, Winston Duke, Angela Bassett and Andy Serkis all play incredible roles. Freeman and Whitaker not so much but they’ve never been brilliant.

The choreography of and within the scenes was beautiful. We’re talking 2021 before there’s a sequel and it’s rumoured Michael B. Jordan will be back – I certainly hope so. I loved seeing the characters appear in Infinity Wars.

So this gets my number one for 2018.

My score: 9/10


Films I’m looking forward to in 2019 are:

– Captain Marvel
– Us
– Pet Sematary (I’m not usually a fan of reboots but I like Jason Clarke so I’m excited for this)
– Hellboy (Anything has to be better than Perlman!)
– Avengers: Endgame
– Dark Phoenix
– Toy Story 4
– Spider-Man: Far From Home
– Angel Has Fallen (Will be crap but escapmsim.)
– Kingsman: The Great Game (Taron. My furture ex-husband)
– Star Wars: Episode IX (Obviously!)

Films I’m not looking forward.

– Glass (When will people learn that M. Night Shyamalan is awful?)
– Jacob’s Ladder (This does not need a reboot!)
– The Hustle (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels does not need a reboot!)
– Child’s Play (yet another reboot!)
– The Lion King (More live action shit.)
– Aladdin (Fuck right off!)
– It: Chapter Two (Chapter one was bollocks. Chapter Two can’t be any better)
– Joker (no)
– Terminator 6 (this should have ended at 2)
– Charlie’s Angels (Yawwwwn)
– Jumanji 3 (Dwayne Johnson should not get acting work!)
– Super Intelligence (Melissa McCarthy. James Corden. Hell.)


Happy New Year!

About Rob 60 Articles
Bear. Heart of lion, pecs like dinner plates, mind of whore.

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