Thoughts and questions for the next Star Wars

Millennium Falcon
How this ship is still flying is beyond me.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the Falcon and in a few years I plan to own one and do the Kessel run in 11 parsecs, but right now I’m amazed this particular YT-1300F Corellian Light Freighter is still flying.  It seems in nearly every film there is a problem with it in one way or another and the current owner is always looking for parts.  Rey, in the Force Awakens refers to it as a piece of junk and to some extent, although I hate her for it, she’s right.  We first see it in Revenge of the Sith, so this is before Luke and Leia are born.  According to Star Wars lore Luke was nineteen years old when he first boarded the Falcon in A New Hope and was twenty-five in Jedi.  Given that we see the Falcon in SW: RotS and it’s not new then and that SW: TLJ is set 30 years after Jedi that means the Falcon is, at the very least, over 55 years old.  No wonder it’s falling apart!  I love this ship but being realistic, to end everything to do with the current franchise (remember, everything is going – Luke and Han have gone, Leia will be gone by SW: IX) we will more than likely see it’s demise in SW: XI.  I’ll be sad.  I’ll probably cry again, as I did when we “lost” Luke, but so be it.  Sadly I predict we’ll lose Lando and Chewy at the same time.  One thing is certain, the Falcon is still the fastest ship in the fleet.  Why?  Because it’s the only bloody ship left in the fleet!

Talking of Lando…
Nothing has been mentioned about him and remember once the rebels got to that mighty fortress (yeah right!) they sent out a signal looking for back up and no one answered. It’ll be revealed that no one answered because they thought it was a trap – like it always is – but finally someone will pass the message to Lando who’ll say something crass along the lines of “It’s Leia’s secret super special code! We must go to her!”  He’ll be too late, obviously, and there will be a scene where he’s mourning the loss of all three of my childhood heroes.

Talking of the loss of childhood heroes…
Leia won’t be in Star Wars IX.  Rumours are that Star Wars IX will be set anything from ten to fifteen years on from TLJ. During this time Leia could have easily popped her clogs for any number of reasons that can be written in using any story arc. Old age, First Order sniper, getting pissed and falling into the Sarlec pit, anything. The best way to see her off is respectfully and quietly, maybe in the opening scrawl? One thing we can be sure of, because Disney have promised, is that she will in no way be in Star Wars IX. And studios never break their promises do they?

Talking of who else won’t be in SW: IX…
The Death of Snoke.  Remember Luke giving Leia the dice from the Falcon? Remember him touching her? Like physically and all that?  He even held her head and kissed her!  Then remember he revealed during the fight with Kylo that he wasn’t actually there and was using the force to project himself there?  Remember Rey and Kylo touching hands?  She actually tells Luke about sensing the future when she touched fingers with Kylo! So was Snoke really sitting on his throne when Kylo killed him? He sat there spouting about how he can’t be double crossed yet blatantly was. Or was he?  I don’t think he was there.  I think he knew what Kylo Ren would do all along so he was force projecting himself in to that chair.  “So why was his body still there when General Hux was strutting his stuff demanding to know what happened?” I hear you shout.  So he could hear what Kylo Ren said.  And Kylo gave Snoke the perfect opportunity to push him  deeper into the dark side when Kylo asked Rey to join him and rule the galaxy together.  Personally I think we’ll see his return in Star Wars IX.

Talking of Rey…
Her parents.  So are they really paupers buried in the desert? Personally I don’t think so. I think Kylo Ren was just lying to piss her off. I’m not convinced that Luke is her father, which was a belief I had from the Force Awakens, but is her parentage important? I don’t think it is. It would be nice to think they are a key part of the story to hopefully make Rey seem like a more powerful Jedi than she already is but to be honest I’m past caring about this fact. One thing to note was a comment made by Shmi Skywalker about Anakin: “There was no father. I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him. I can’t explain what happened.” If this can be the case for Anakin “Jesus” Skywalker than it can also be the case for Rey. Maybe mother is a pauper buried out in the Jakku desert but daddy is a no show.  Or daddy is someone akin to Galen Erso in Rogue One.  He works for the First Order but not because he wants to but has to.  Or may he’s a waiter in whoever inherited the Hutt’s cantina when Jabba choked in Jedi.

Talking of inheriting…
Admiral Poe?  With Holdo shooting herself into a Star Destroyer and Leia obviously not coming back there’s room up top for a new leader. Rey won’t want it because she’ll be too busy becoming a Jedi, rebuilding the Jedi Order (she does have the books after all) and trying to keep the Falcon in the air, so it’s left to Poe to stand up and do something. Does this mean his X-Wing pilot days are over? Does it bollocks! It didn’t stop President Whitmore in Independence Day and it won’t stop Poe!  I do think we’re going to see massive character development from him in SW: IX though.  We know very little of Poe and other than a bromance with Finn and a technomance with BB-8 he’s had no specific love interest.  With Finn swiping right on the intergalactic Tinders of Rose and Rey he can, because we say so, only choose one, so will Poe get the other?  No, I don’t think so.  Poe will either find his own beau.  Maz Kanata maybe, or Lieutenant Connix?  Or maybe he’ll be the gay character hinted at from time to time.  I’m not including C3PO in that.  Either way I think Poe will become a force (did you see what I did there) to be reckoned with and turn into a major player in the franchise.

Talking of turning…
Turning Finn.  I’m not gonna lie, I can’t abide the character of Finn. I find him useless. I like the idea of Stormtrooper rebelling I just wish they’ve given him more to do and made him more of a key character. Everything he’s done, other than rescue Rose (lets not talk about that!) could have been done without him there. Poe is a genius (yet to be revealed – if ever) and could have got away from the First Order the first time without Finn. Maybe then he wouldn’t have crashed and would have made it to Jakku without a problem. The crap about shutting down the tracker could have been done without him. And now he’s in what appears to be a love triangle with Rose and Rey. Give him something interesting! Make him great! It’d be nice if they tapped into his mind and found a way to turn other Stormtroopers? Maybe in an “Execute order 66” way? Given that he knew what he was doing on Jakku was wrong in SW: TFA could it be possible that Finn has tapped into the much discussed force?

Talking of the force…
Prophecy laid out?  So way back when, in times when Luke and Leia were still just swilling around in the genitals of Anakin and Padme, Qui-Gon Jinn has a meeting with the Jedi Council. He tells them he thinks Anakin is the Neo of the Star Wars universe. Mace Windu actually says “You refer to the prophecy of The One who will bring balance to the Force. You believe it’s this boy?” So Anakin is trained and still there’s no balance because he turns in Darth Nutjob. Before that Padme give birth the twins Luke and Leia and the world suddenly thinks Luke is the Neo yet still the dark side is really fucking tough and there’s still no balance. Now we have Rey so is she the Neo that’ll bring balance? Or maybe it’s the little broom boy on Canto Bight? No, it won’t be him, we’ll not see him again. But, for there to be a balance there has to be a 50/50 split so we need to Sith shit to be bouncing around the galaxy to keep the actual balance there. But do we?  The Jedi know enough about the force and are respectful enough of it to accept that for their to be balance there must be light and dark.  Neither needs to have control just so long as equity.  In SW: TLJ when Luke is teaching Rey about the force he asks her what’s she see’s and she describes it.  She talks about life and death, warmth and cold, peace and anger.  Luke asks what’s in between and she states “a force.”  There’s your bloomin’ balance!  There’s your ending!

Talking of ending...
Maybe it’ll end with Rey and Ren sitting down for a nice cuppa while drawing out lines on a map and decide who rules what. Or maybe they’ll get married? Which would be weird if Luke does turn out to be her daddy but this is a galaxy far far away and who knows what laws they have regarding cousins and wedlock.  Luke said, when he was chatting with Rey over dinner and bottle of blue Beaujolais, that Ren took other jedi wannabes from the temple after he’d destroyed.  Well where are they?  Is this setting up for a spin off?  I feel like the Littlest Hobo theme is gonna be playing as we see a youngling carrying a knapsack on a lightsaber over his shoulder.


No one but the writers can know where this is going, we can but speculate using the information we have at hand.  One thing is for sure though, I’ll moan about the bad bits, rave over the good bits but Star Wars will still remain my number one favourite movie franchise of all time.  Closely followed by Back to the Future, Alien (we don’t talk about Alien Vs Predator or the Promtheshit) and Indian Jones.

Until next time…

About Rob 60 Articles
Bear. Heart of lion, pecs like dinner plates, mind of whore.

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